When I found out I was having a boy (December 2010), I bought the book "Wild Things; the art of nurturing boys". I figured I had a lot to learn about the male species. And low and behold, after the first chapter, the book had already described my husband to a T. From start to finish the book was pretty informative. The whole time reading, I kept telling myself to Buckle Up. I'm very to the point, concentrated, focused, take the steps necessary to accomplish goals, type person. I don't see the point in adventure, except if it's to some deserted romantic island with no kids. Each chapter of this book was teaching me to sit back, relax, and enjoy the adventurous spirit that my son (and my husband now) will hold. I had finished reading the book a few weeks after BK3 was born, and now, at 11 1/2 months, li'l B is completely taking on the profile that the book has prepared me for. He explores. He gazes. He is determined to grab, feel, examine, and attempt to destroy just about everything he touches. I have entered a whole new realm of mommy-hood, which includes chasing after this 22 pound munchkin, and he's starting to get much faster than I am. My 95-year old cuban grandfather calls BK3 the "Hurricane". Fitting. Every time I bring the baby over there, Brannan turns their small very neat house into a demolition derby. He even tried to climb up the inside of the fireplace. YEP. He can't even walk yet. My papi just watches....and then when it's just about to get dangerous, he'll yell Kelrie! (His slang for Carrie).
And now to my loving husband. He cares for me. He provides. He is probably the nicest person I know. He loves me. And he is good to me. But if there's one thing he has no capability of understanding, it's my need/request to stay on top of housework. Since we're both working parents, we both have to tackle this tough job. One problem: I need a neat house to survive. He does not. And since I now take on various hats: business owner, mom, fetus-maker, house contractor, homemaker, etc, I am having a VERY tough time sweeping/vacuuming the house daily, making sure the Doberman smell is gone, wiping countertops, finishing laundry, cooking for dinner (even though I work from 3 to 9:30 every night, and teach Zumba 3 mornings of the week), etc etc ETC! Brannan's always saying "Babe, I'll do whatever housework you need, just ask". Well, I thought that was Nagging? Right guys? Babe do this, babe do that....babe, laundry. Babe trash. Ya know. I was trying to be nice...by just expecting it to get done right ladies? hell yeah. Not. So - instead of using the tad bit of my brainpower that was left to tell Daddy B what housework needed to get done, I just went to wal mart, bought a dry erase magnet board for the fridge, and created a chore chart. Ok. Go ahead now. Laugh. I know...I KNOW.
I figured, he can just look at the chore chart, and SEE what needs to get done. I'll put a check mark or my initials by whatever the chore is for that day. He'll know he doesn't have to do it.... Well lemme tell ya how this went down. We have a few chores: Vacuum/Sweep, Dishwasher Unload (not load, because that's just expected when you use a dish), Trash (all of it), Countertops/tables, Mop, and Laundry. Ya know - the usual. Except we have 145 pounds of dog living in our house, that's a rough 1100 sq ft. They live inside. And you could stuff a small teddy bear with the dog hair, should you not get rid of it daily - either by vacuuming or sweeping. Everything started off great. I explained it to him (while he smiled that smile that said "this is gonna be fun"), and I figured hey! Let's do this. A few days went by great....and then I wake up one morning to get the day going....I look at the fridge. He's put his initials BKW on the chart for Dishwasher, Trash and Laundry. I notice....there's no dishes that have been cleaned. Just a few in their dirty. The kitchen trash was out, but not the rest of the house. And there was a load of his car washing towels onto wash, with full hampers of dirty clothes elsewhere. I ask him about it. To which I learn that he put his initials down because he loaded a dish or two in the dishwasher. He also put a load of clothes onto wash. And he took one trash can out. Well....then we had to make the chore chart more specific. Ya know - THE WHOLE JOB HAD TO GET DONE. That was just a teaser for me, on his part I guess.
A few days later, I wake up to see more initials on stuff....BK on a trash. BK on Dishwasher. maybe another BK somewhere else but at this point I was just getting ticked off. I'm pregnant people. I'm tired. No time for this. So I start to be understanding and think "Ya know, he took one trash out. Thanks". But the dishwasher? Come on. He put 3 dishes in the dishwasher. No unloading job here. So when I talked to him later, I'm like DUDE we need to get this straight. You can't just put your initials on something because you INTENDED to do it. Or you put 2 DISHES in the dishwasher. We went over this....
His response:
Well babe. That's why I only put 1/2 my initials....because I only did 1/2 the job. ya know BK? Not BKW.
I laughed. I remembered the book. Relax Carrie. This is a sign telling you to LET IT GO. It's housework. I thank God every day for giving me a match that 100% completes the the qualities which I lack. He keeps me laughing with moments like this. When I try so hard to be ON TOP OF THINGS. And he reminds me to slow it on down and enjoy life. It's laundry. No matter how many times you take care of it, it'll pile back up. Sit back every now and then, and let it be.
The chore chart is blank. Still on the fridge, but it catches things like "what to buy from the grocery" and "BK3's party planning list". I learned that when I want something done, just ask damnit.
Now all of you mamas reading this, shaking your head with a smile, or wiping the tears away from laughing so hard at me. Thanks. I know. I'm learning. Remember that last blog? Positive thoughts and prayers accepted :)
I'll get to the next-door-neighbor's chicken and BK3 takes a tumble in his walker subjects next blog. I'm pretty sure my toddler is missing inside of one of my cabinets right now...
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